The Magpie Man

A glistening light flickered amongst the folds of a bundle of clothes, lying on the floor. It caught the eye of a wandering magpie, who gave it his full attention. Down he flew, hoping to acquire whatever possessed such beautiful traits.

By scratching and pecking at the abandoned shirts and trousers, he freed a bright silver ring from its imprisonment. Picking it up with his beak, he returned to his nest in the nearby apple tree.

The ring’s diameter was sufficiently large enough to allow the bird to place his foot inside it. Opening up his claw, it was now secure around his leg. The bird had never stolen anything so beguiling. As the night drew closer, he shut his eyes and fell asleep, dreaming of his find.

In the morning, he found himself lying at the bottom of the tree, with his head against the trunk. His first thought was ‘I am naked’.

This followed with, ‘I am hungry’.

Placing his arms on the ground, he pushed himself up and said in a bewildered tone, ‘I am a man.’

On the other side of the orchard he saw some clothes hanging on a washing line. They were temptingly swaying in the warm breeze. Ducking down, he briskly ran through the undergrowth, leaping from one tree trunk, a hiding spot, to another.

He reached out to the clothes and surreptitiously pulled them off the washing line. They fitted perfectly and he started towards the town to satisfy his hunger.

The hustle and bustle of the town enchanted his senses. Even when he was a magpie, he had the eye of a pickpocket and this town was brimming over with opportunities to feather his own nest.

A stall in the market place was selling pies. The choices on display ranged from pork, beef, leek and fruity ones. The market trader was distracted by the overwhelming crowd around his stall with the throng of customers vying for his attention. The magpie stood behind a punter, brought his arm around him and carefully removed a pie from the stall. He slowly turned round and walked away into the mass of people, eating his ill-gotten gains. The pie was filled with sweet apples, “A great reward for such a master thief as himself”, he thought.

Looking around for his next victim, he saw a fat bellied merchant with a money bag dangling from his belt. He confidently walked towards him with intent. Bumping into the large man, he put his hands up to express he was sorry, as the man demanded an apology.

The unsuspecting merchant walked away, while the magpie headed towards a side alley, with the money bag concealed in his clothes. A smile of success creeped slowly across his face, as he looked into the bag, the gleaming coins mirrored in his eyes.

Thirst now grabbed him and he hunted for a puddle to drink from. Looking down into the murky water, he saw himself in the reflection. “I am a man”, he mumbled to himself. He raised his head and spied a building with people drinking outside. He strided to the tavern.

This grimly lit establishment had a shadowy atmosphere, caused by the candles randomly dotted around the room. He was naturally drawn to the bar. Behind it, stood an attractive young barmaid. “What can I get you, sir”, she said to the magpie.

He stared for a moment. Looking at the other customers at the bar, he pointed to the tankards filled with cider. She smiled and poured him a drink.

As she slid it towards him, she said “So you aren’t much of a talker?”.

“No”, he said quietly. This may have come across as acting embarrassed, but the truth was, he wasn’t used to making human sounds.

“What’s your name, stranger?”, she asked with a broad smile.

He hesitated, “Magpie?”.

She laughed, “Well, Mr Magpie, you can’t steal that drink. So pay up”.

He looked confused. Once again, imitating the other customers, he took out the stolen money bag and offered it to the barmaid. She raised her eyebrows at the large number of coins and took the payment.

“You are an intriguing person, Mr Magpie”, the barmaid continued, “I’m Margaret. What brings you here today, to our town?”

The magpie told her tales of his great escapades. Leaping from one adventure to another. How he was a noble thief, stealing from the rich and living off their fat. He’d never been caught, nor trapped. When things got sticky, he simply flew away.

The barmaid was enchanted by his exciting tales of piracy and riches. With every adjective, she fell in love with him. With each adverb, her heart became ensnared. It felt it was a prison she had longed for, rather than the monotonous life of this humdrum town. She could be free as a bird.

After he had spoken for half an hour about his magpie life, she pleaded, “Take me with you”. He was surprised that a human would want to be with a magpie (Though, she probably thought he was speaking metaphorically).

He could not say no. She was the most beautiful thing he would have stolen today. He held out his hands. She took them. He pulled her into the air, vaulting over the bar, and they quickly promenaded from the bar.

“Where are we going?”, she asked.

“To my nest”, he said firmly.

“Where’s that?”, she eagerly responded.

“By a large crabapple tree, next to the nearby orchard”, he pointed as he spoke.

As soon as they left, a roar of thief erupted from the town, as the pie seller and the merchant realised they had both been stolen from, and the publican saw his daughter run off with a tall raven-haired man.

A mob was quickly formed to track down this ruffian. The arrogant magpie made no attempts to mask his tracks as he left the town’s boundaries, and so was easily found. He was standing by his apple tree, next to the love of his life.

The townsfolk encircled him and demanded answers. He spoke proudly, “I am not a man, but a magpie. My nature is to steal, I cannot help myself.”

He took the ring off and held it high for all the crowd to see. He continued with raised voice, “This ring changed my form from bird to man!”

The crowd stood still in confusion. As the magpie kissed the barmaid, he dropped the ring. It bumped and rolled along the ground and fell into a rabbit’s warren.

Within a wink of an eye, both he and the barmaid had become magpies, flying up into the crabapple tree.

The people stared at the two birds, sitting together on a high branch, unable to comprehend what they had witnessed.

They all slowly turned and headed back to the town, feeling bewildered. Until, only a young boy remained, who gingerly placed his arm down the rabbit hole, hoping to recover the ring.