Relational and Oppositional Identities

It seems Western cultures are obsessed by identities and how we identify ourselves.

The way I see it, there are two main types of identities; Relational and Oppositional.

An oppositional identity is a type which is defined by its opposition to something else. A good example is the identity female. Female is related to male by being its opposite. Female is an oppositional identity to male.

Relational identity is defined by its reliance on someone else. So a daughter cannot be a daughter without a father and mother. The identity of ‘daughter’ cannot be separated from the identity of ‘father’ and ‘mother’. Equally, a father cannot be by himself, there needs to be a mother and a son or a daughter. If not, that person is not a father.

Relational identities also include husband, wife, spouse, widow, son, aunt, uncle, grandparents, friends and even neighbours.

If a culture defines individuals using oppositional identities, it can drive communities and people apart.

By focussing more on the relational identities, we realise ‘who we are’ is tied up with other people. This paradigm replaces the oppositional identities and is more likely to draw a society together.

Maybe it’s time to change, and realise, God, my family, my friends and my neighbours, all help to define who I am. My most-true identity does not come from what I am opposed to, but more from whom I am in relationship with.